I Am Disappoint.

Sunday night was one of those nights. The kind where years later people ask each other if they remembered where they were when they heard the news. Nearly ten years after the attacks on September 11, 2001, Osama bin Laden was finally found and killed by US troops. This was a great day in terms of sweet, satisfying justice and good ol' OBL got what was coming to him. What fascinated me was the responses that came from people all over, especially people close to me.

You've probably heard of the famous fake Martin Luther King, Jr. quote that made the rounds on Monday. I saw at least eight or ten of my facebook friends post it. It goes like this:

‎"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

The funny thing is that it isn't actually a quote from MLK. Or more specifically, the first sentence isn't. The thing that bothers me is not that it was misattributed. I'm not even bothered by the sentiment it voices, regardless of who actually said it. I can completely relate to the feeling that you shouldn't rejoice over the death of a human being, even an evil one. The beef I have is with the reason why people were posting it.

One possible reason to voice that sentiment is to respond to what you might see as classless revelry over a person's death, seeing people partying in the streets, waving flags and dancing. It conjures up reminders of people celebrating in a similar way after the 9/11 attacks (though those people were cheering the deaths of thousands of innocent civilians, while people on Monday were rejoicing that a powerful terrorist leader had been eliminated... but still). But responding by posting a fake MLK quote like that is basically waving your nose in the air and getting all snooty over those uncouth, uncivilized ruffians who dare be happy that a madman was taken out. It's self-righteous and insensitive. If you really disapprove, that's ok. But let others deal with the news in their way without getting all judgmental and self-absorbed about it.

The other reason I thought of has more to do with politics, and I personally think it motivated a larger portion of the posts. There are so many people who can't STAND the idea that President Obama was the President who ordered the assassination of bin Laden. They hate him so much that literally nothing he does is, in any way, a good thing. I am still in awe that so many people have clambered for some reason to hate Obama for this.

"How dare they kill bin Laden? That is so un-Christian and merciless. No matter how bad a person is, they should be arrested and put on trial, not killed." I have a few points to make about that idea.

- First, the order was to take Osama dead or alive. Do you really think they would have killed him if they were able to take him alive? If you think it was politically motivated, and Barack Obama wanted bin Laden dead to boost his poll numbers, don't you think he'd rather have the guy alive so he could take him home in handcuffs? A trial would have lasted months, perhaps years, and Obama's poll numbers would have soared the whole time.

- Second. Many of these people who harrumph and fuss over the President's audacity to order the killing of bin Laden are the same people who fiercely defended Bush and the war. Are you telling me that sending the military to invade two countries and kill terrorists for ten years is a righteous cause, but sending a tactical team of Navy SEALs to take down Osama bin Laden is awful and unforgivable? I know what the difference is: The war was ordered by a Republican, and the May 1 operation was ordered by a Democrat. That is all this is about.

Which brings me to my next point. I am so fed up with all of the ways people are hating on the President. They are so committed to hating the guy that even when he does something that their beloved George W. Bush tried to do, he's still evil and trying to destroy this country. Look, I have said plenty of times before that I am not an Obama-lover. I disagree with him on plenty of things, but I also appreciate the things he does that I do agree with. The point is, I wait for him to do or say something before I decide how I feel about it. I have not decided, as so many others have, that because he is a Democrat, I will hate every single thing he does. That kind of political bigotry is the driving force behind everything that is wrong with politics in America.

Is Obama going to use this to get re-elected? You bet. He is a politician, and politicians have to use everything they can to get their way. Bush used 9/11 and the war in 2004. I hope Obama doesn't go too far with it, but he is certainly going to try to play up his role in this. And his opponents are going to use their political tactics to try and downplay his role and somehow build themselves up.

What bothers me is how people insist that the President had nothing to do with it. Baloney. You just can't stand that this guy you despise actually did something right. If you are going to say that Barack Obama played no part in Osama bin Laden's assassination, then you have to be prepared to say this as well:

- Abraham Lincoln had nothing to do with the North winning the Civil War. It was the soldiers and the officers and stuff.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt didn't do anything to win World War II. In fact, the war wasn't over until after his death, so Truman should get all the credit, if anyone.
- John F. Kennedy didn't put a man on the moon. That was all NASA and the astronauts.
- Ronald Reagan didn't do anything to end the Cold War or liberate East Germany. That was the citizens of those Communist nations. It was the Germans who physically tore down the Berlin Wall.

I'll admit that most of the honor and glory goes to the soldiers who landed at the compound in Abbottabad. They were the ones who risked their lives, and they were the ones who killed Osama and seized all the intel. But guess what? Like it or not, Barack Obama was a major player in the operation. No, he wasn't on the ground in Pakistan, but he was the one who ordered it. One of the very first things he did as President was tell the CIA to make the capture of Osama bin Laden their top priority. As intel came in, the President analyzed it and made judgement calls regarding what leads to follow and how to act. He had his role to play, it was an important role, and he played it with great success.

Is it such a hard thing for people to accept that President Obama actually did something right, and that he should get at least some credit for it? I remember when George W. Bush was in office, and we saw people criticize him and oppose the war. I recall some people saying things like, "Like him or not, he's the President, and that office deserves respect. I didn't want John Kerry to be President, but if he had been elected, I would have supported and respected his position." Now, those same people are doing exactly the same things they said would put others in Hell during the Bush Administration.

Here are a few pointers to keep in mind, and they generally apply to most American leaders, especially Presidents.
- He is not evil.
- He does not hate God, the military, or babies.
- He does not want to take away your healthcare, religion, safety or money. His policies might jeopardize some of those things, sure. It is possible that he is wrong about something. But he is not motivated by the tantalizing idea of snatching away Linda Pefferschmutz's Bible from her very arms.
- Yes, Bush did do some things to help find bin Laden. Obama also did things to help find the guy. Both deserve some credit.
- For the last f%@ing time, Barack Obama was born in the United States.

I'm not asking people to like Obama. I'm not asking anyone to vote for him. I'm not convinced I'm going to vote for him in 2012 (although if Palin, Trump, or Bachmann are the only other options, I won't have much of a choice). What I'm asking is for people to stick to their standards, but understand that others might disagree with them, and that's ok. If you don't like something that Obama is doing, fine. You can oppose it. You can encourage your Congressperson to try to vote it down. You can choose not to vote to re-elect him. But please, please stop fighting him tooth and nail on every single thing he does or says entirely because he is Barack Obama, or because he is a Democrat. I'd ask the same of people who do those things against a Republican President. I'm not asking people to choose a particular side in politics. I'm just asking people to be smart and mature about it, and accept that even someone you disagree with on a lot of issues might get something right once in a while. Take the good, and oppose the bad, but don't let idealogical bigotry blind you to one or the other of those things.

Trump vs. Rump

In a bizarre kickoff to the next exhausting presidential election season, Donald Trump has, for some reason, convinced himself that he has a legitimate shot at taking the crown from Big O. Sure, businessmen and women have ran for president in the past, and they aren't entirely a terrible group of people from which to select a president. But Trump has long been kind of a weird guy, and I cannot fathom what has made him think that he's suddenly cut out for politics.

Stranger still, The Donald has inexplicably chosen the Birther cause as one of the primary pillars of his campaign. He decided that his message is basically: "You should elect me because I believe in a conspiracy theory more convoluted and desperate than the "Moon Landing Hoax" theory." Seriously? Running for president is a matter of gathering the most people to your side, trying not to alienate anyone but the votes you're willing to sacrifice. You basically have to convince a slight majority to vote for you, and to do that you have to take a strong position that a lot of people agree on and enough of the rest can be convinced of. So you really think that there are enough birthers out there to push you over the top? In fact, you pretty much have to hope over 50% of the people are birthers, because anyone who isn't is most likely going to think you're a nutcase and won't vote for you.

The very fact that birthers exist at all, especially that there are so many of them, is baffling to me. It started out as a desperate attempt to delegitimize Obama's election. He won very convincingly, so it would be hard to blame a rigged election or demand a recount. So someone looked for something else, and found one tiny glimmer of false hope, and cooked up a conspiracy theory. It was perfect, because even though it was a long shot, and could be proved to a satisfying degree for most people, paranoid people could always find reasons to remain unconvinced.

The fact is, the birther issue has been settled, and by all legal scrutiny, Barack Obama has been ruled to be an American citizen. They begrudgingly inspected his birth certificate, and said yes, it's real, and yes, he is in fact American by birth. But Trump is still not convinced. He supposedly has a team of very smart people in Hawaii doing their own detective work, and he refuses to be convinced until the president proves that he is an American. But tons of people are still doing what Trump is doing. They are insisting that they will not be convinced until Obama drives down to their house and personally presents his birth certificate to them so they can inspect it.

This is so stupid to me. They say he is acting all suspicious because he won't show it. Let me illustrate the stupidity of this with a different example. Let's say that President Obama has The Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tattooed on his left buttcheek. We really have no way of knowing this, nor is there any evidence that it's in any way true. But wouldn't that be hilarious? I want it to be true, therefore I will believe it until President Barack proves me wrong.

Pictured: Barack's Obottom

There are several ways for the president to respond to this. First, he could just ignore it, passing it off as a weird, crackpot idea that has no real merit. I say that his lack of response just proves his guilt. He's trying to silence the truth, man! We must demand that he either confess and step down, or prove we're wrong! Okay, so he has some qualified individuals testify on his behalf. His doctor and his wife go before the nation and let us know that the president of the United States does not have an 80's cartoon villain tattooed on his backside. Well obviously the doctor has been paid off, and the First Lady won't out her husband. Cahoots! All right, so the President finally gives in and stands on Capitol Hill with his pants around his knees and every news network displays the Caboose-in-Chief, unequivocally un-inked. They zoom in, using their HD cameras. Headlines around the world declare the news to the world: "NO JUNK ON THIS TRUNK", "BARACK'S BOOTY BEREFT OF BAD GUY", "CRACK LACKING: NO MAN ON THIS MOON", and "GOOD GAME: PRESIDENT SPANKS OPPONENTS BY SILENCING RUMORS WITH DEADLY EVIDENCE".

Even then, there will be doubters. They will say the President used concealer, the media altered the footage, a lookalike was used. They will never be convinced until the President comes to their house and lets them scrutinize his booty. The point is, he shouldn't have to. He should not have to be constantly harassed with idiotic and baseless accusations. The President's citizenship should not be an issue in the election. Not in 2008, and not now. And for a circus clown like Donald Trump to bring it up and encourage this idiocy is just irresponsible, unproductive and distracting.

So here's my idea.

We need to give good ol' Trumpy a taste of his own medicine. I think we need to start a rumor that Donald Trump is not human, but is in fact an alien in a moderately convincing human disguise. It wouldn't be that much of a stretch. Look at the guy. His ridiculous hair is a thing of legend. He has an unnatural orange hue to his skin (except around the eyes). He talks really weird, shaping his mouth in bizarre ways that nobody else does. And his skin looks like a lumpy, rubbery mass haphazardly hanging off of some misshapen humanoid structure.

"Just tuck the extra skin into the collar. I'm going on 60 Minutes tonight."

He can't prove he isn't a real human. What will he do? Have doctors testify? Paid off! Show his birth certificate? Fake! Have a DNA test done? Easily fabricated! The fact is, there isn't a thing he can do to prove beyond any doubt that he is, in fact, a human being. And if I had my way, this would become such a big thing that he would be forced to withdraw from the Presidential race. Let's face it, it's more plausible that Donald Trump is an alien than that Barack Obama isn't a real American citizen.

#8

October 22, 1991

I BrusHt' My Teet
After BreKfast.
Mom Said I Have
A Super !


*bongo drum*

#7

Nov. 7, 1991

Hands, Hands
I LoVe My Hands
Because They Can
Pick up Things.
I LiKe it!
They Can Pickup So Many
Things!
I Cant' BeliVe it!


*bongo drum*

#6

March 3, 1992

It's SPACE !
What iS Space? I do not Know.
Space is


*bongo drum*

#5

Oct. 23, 1991

Chocolate Candy

Chocolate KisSes
are yummy!
Sometimes They
Have Almonds
in Them.
SomeTimeS They
Don't Have AlmondS


*bongo drum*

#4

March 16, 1992

Wow! It is SoColdout
I had to Wear my mittens.
I even had to Put my hood on.
I don't like Wearing my hood,
but I have to.


*bongo drum*